It is funny because I was once asked in an interview what kind of soapboxes I have and I couldn’t think of any but now I see that I frequently talk about the same subjects and see the same themes in my life. You must be thinking isn’t she ever going to learn this simple concept, retain it, and stop talking about it? No probably not. It seems I am constantly learning the same lessons and adding a little bit to them and every time they seem earth-shaking to me.
I’ve been thinking about questions again recently and their importance. I recently was going through some old emails and stumbled across an email containing some excellent advice. It recommended asking ‘What makes you tick?’ type questions. She told me that “questioning others doesn’t have to be complicated or lofty but just anything
that helps you get the context of the person”. I almost want to copy my friends whole email because it is so good. She wrote,
“There are a million questions to ask people but I think the right ones are the ones that are born out of a natural curiosity to know this person that the LORD created.” Natural curiosity is the key. I don’t seem to ask enough questions about anything. I love to learn but I don’t think I would ever describe myself as curious. If something doesn’t work or I see something new I don’t try to understand how it works. I just accept it as it is. A natural curiosity would also help me with studying my Bible. I don’t ask enough questions or pay enough attention to the details. Things just don’t bother me and therefore I am not curious.
I really do want to have this natural curiosity for others. I think it is so key to loving others and for moving into their lives. I’ve experienced this love shown towards me lately. My grandpa died yesterday. I knew it was coming, I actually prayed that God would take him because it was so hard for him in the end, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m far away and won’t be going to the funeral. I have experienced such love and concern by the body of believers around me. I have felt so loved in conversations where they asked about my grandma, or how close my family was to their area, or when was the funeral would take place or even when did you hear about it?
Why would they care? They care because I care and they love me. My Heavenly Father cares about such things and they are His children. They have asked how I am doing or if I wish I was there. Those are great questions and a little deeper into my thinking and heart but the other questions got the same results: I felt loved and they got an earful of talk about my grandpa and about my feelings. I felt loved because they cared to listen and understand. I saw a genuine concern in them and a desire for them to get to know me and understand where I was at. As my friend in the same email wrote,
“I think most people want to be known and heard and understood.” I had just read that old email again and after hearing of my grandpa’s death the Lord gave me a unique opportunity to see what she meant in action.
As my friend in the email, which I keep quoting, put it,
“I guess my main thing is to not over calculate and manipulate question asking/caring, but rather to have a sincere and genuine curiosity about the person sitting across the table from you… you never know where it will lead.”
My friend described this natural curiosity as, “the greatest tool to have and refine.” She stated the purpose of refining this tool as,
“… Growing in a sensitivity to seek to know others and what they are all about in order to know how to serve them better.” I want that. As I was thinking right before I heard the news that my Grandpa died of cancer and now as I consider that my life is a vapor, I want to run hard for the rest of my life in pursuit of God and of people. I want to love them more. I pray that God would develop this tool in me, that he would give me a natural curiosity out of a loving heart that has been changed by good news and wants to love others because of it. I pray that I would talk less and listen more. I pray that I would think of more questions and ask them.
Thanks to my friend who wrote me that great email.
