Circumstantial Joy

I have been saddened lately at how many little things my joy and hope rest in. I console myself with the praise of men and food so frequently. John Piper speaks in his book on Hungering for God about how so often we fill our appetite with so many little things in life that we have no room for God. That is certainly true of me.
In fasting one day I was quick to see how often I look forward to my next meal or the next cup of coffee to bring me joy and strength through out the day. When I am feeling discontent instead of seeing that sin and dealing with it I console myself with a thought like, "Oh, but I only have ten minutes till lunch." Instead of asking myself why I am so saddened that someone else was praised and recognizing the wicked heart behind the thought I run to buy myself an ice cream bar. Do I really want my joy and hope to lie in food? What a wasted life!
I also see how much I rest in the praise of those around me rather than in the promises of God. When I started to wonder why I was here doing the job I am doing and if they had chosen the right person for the job, I kept reminding myself that God had brought me here. I have frequently seen His gracious hand in bringing me here and in how He is working in my life here. I kept reminding myself of this. I also kept telling myself that God had me here and that he would work it for the good of the families here, my good, and His glory. I also reminded myself of His goodness and sovereignty. The good God that I serve would not bring me here only to abandon me and not prepare me for the job. The sovereign God I serve is able to equip and prepare me. I had to frequently remind myself of this, yet one "well done" from someone I respect here so quickly brought me out of my questioning. I had such joy and my countenance changed to hear someone say I was doing a good job. I was able to relax and rest. What do I rest in? What do you rest in? Should I be resting in man's praise?
I miss tests now that I am not in school because I miss getting that "A" back and knowing that I did a good job. I was actually envious today as the students here received their graded History of Ancient Israel midterms in their mailboxes. In class yesterday, as the teacher recognized how panicked and anxious everyone was about tests and quizzes, he reminded us that tests and quizzes are nothing. We will go through harder times in life. He told us to remember Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." This does apply to tests and our jobs and such but are those things really things that should cause us anxiety? There is a family here who have four little boys who are four years old and under. The oldest just finished chemo/radiation therapy. When he was diagnosed with cancer and started radiation his mom was pregnant with his brother. She could not even go near her toddler who was undergoing the difficult treatment because of the health of her unborn baby. This last summer she was pregnant with twins and on bed rest. Recently one of the new born twins has had severe problems. What is a test compared to trials and tests like that?
If those times come in my life and my hope is in food what will I have other than a large posterier? If that time comes and I am far away from friends and family and there is no word of encouragement will I be distraught? People will fail me. What will a test score mean if I am faced with difficulties like that? Those times will come and I desire to trust in the Lord and in His Word. Pray that I will.